May 24, 2023

20 years ago today, Scott and I got married in Atlanta. If we had known on that day that we would have 19 years together, I don't think that, in the big picture, we would have changed how we ended up spending our time together.

10 years ago today, Scott and I were in Paris celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful time and made plans to go back for our 20th anniversary.

Today I sold our townhouse, where we lived for nearly our entire marriage. It feels bittersweet falling on our 20th wedding anniversary, but it also feels fitting. I feel like Scott has been with me on this whole house buying/selling journey, and I feel his presence in the new house. The night that I settled on a price with the buyer, I went to pick up sushi because that's how we would have celebrated. I ended up signing the contract at the local sushi place that we had visited for nearly 20 years. The entrance has a pair of drums that we used to bang on the way out. I hadn't done it since he passed because it felt pointless to do it without him. But that night I banged on the drums, just like I used to when he was there, and it felt right.

Tracy was a consistent presence on our wedding anniversary over the years. I don't know how she did it, but somehow she always seemed to be around on May 24. It didn't happen every year, but it became a running joke that our wedding anniversary would always be Scott and me, plus Tracy. So I was glad to be able to celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with Tracy when I was in Boston. We went to a French bistro, and for dessert we ordered fondant au chocolat, Scott's favorite dessert when we were in France, and what I would make for him on his birthdays.

On my final visit to the townhouse, the climbing roses in the backyard were in full bloom. I planted those roses two years ago, when Scott was having his first orthopedic surgery to stabilize his femur due to bone metastasis. I needed something to do to keep me grounded while he was in the hospital since I couldn't see him due to COVID restrictions. It was an expression of my hope and faith that Scott would be there to see its blooms, which he did. The roses bloomed beautifully this year, and it felt like a sweet send off for me and a welcome for the new owners.

 

 

Before I moved out of the townhouse, I walked through each of the rooms. Memories from each room came flooding back, both happy and sad. I was grateful for the townhouse and the time I had there with Scott. But I was also at peace with moving because I felt in my heart that the time was right to take this next step. I am starting on a new journey and bringing him with me.